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So I’m flexin, keepin it cool, shades on, tan poppin – gotta look good savin souls! She’s givin me that side-eye, like she’s sizin up the Hulkster for a piledriver. I’m like, “Sister, you ain’t drownin, what’s the deal?” She smirks, says she’s “workin the beach.” Workin?! Brother, I’ve wrestled Andre the Giant, I KNOW work – this ain’t it! Made me mad, dude, seein her out there, hustlin in the sun, riskin it all. Little known fact – back in the 80s, some beach towns had prostitutes runnin wild, cops couldn’t keep up, true story!

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So, I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all good, when BOOM! This seagull swoops down and snatches my roll right off the table! Like, excuse me, Mr. Seagull, that was MY breakfast! I’m yelling at it like it can understand me. “Hey! Get back here!” But nah, it just flies off, looking all smug. I’m standing there, half-laughing, half-fuming.

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