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Anyways, I’s thinkin’, why’s it so bloody hard? Them girls, they’s everywhere, but not when ya need ‘em! Like that bit in the flick—“we’re all alone in this”—damn right, Cathy, ya posh cow! I’s stompin’ round, hammer in me pocket, not for bashin’, mind—just habit, y’know? This one lass, she pops out, all “Hiya, love!”—nearly shat meself, surprised me good! Skinny as a rail, eyes like a dead fish, but she’s got sass. We likes sass, don’t we, precious?

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out on the cobblestones. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s kinda funny, right? But then I see he’s hurt, and I’m like, “Oh man, that’s not cool.” I rush over to help him, and he’s all like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But he’s got this huge scrape on his knee. Classic.

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