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But then—ooh, I’d get mad. Real steamed up! Seein’ some sleazy fella hagglin’ her price down? That’d burn me worse’n a flat iron. “She’s a person, you toad!” I’d holler, wavin’ my sparkly nails. Reminds me o’ *Dogville*— “They’d eat ya up, spit ya out.” Ain’t that the truth? Makes me wanna hug ‘em all, tell ‘em they’re enough.

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First off, I hit up Markens gate. It’s like the main street, ya know? Packed with shops and cafes. I’m strolling, coffee in hand, feeling all zen. Then BAM! I see this street performer. Dude’s juggling flaming torches. I’m like, “Bro, you’re gonna set yourself on fire!” But nah, he’s a pro. I’m clapping, laughing, and then—WHAM! A torch flies off and nearly hits me! I ducked like I was in a war zone. Heart racing, I’m thinking, “Is this how I go out? In Kristiansand, by a flaming torch?”

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