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About Sandnes

This bloke calls, all nervous—pathetic! “Hey, mate, u free tonite?” Voice shakin’ like a soggy soufflé. I’m like, “Grow a pair, ya muppet!” Sex-dating’s brutal—did ya know 1 in 5 matches flake? Little fact for ya, ya numpty. I’ve seen it—chattin’ up some bird online, she’s all “oooh yeah,” then poof—gone! Makes me mad as hell. “What’s the matter with you?!” I’d yell if I could. Happy bit? When it works—shagged a stunner once, felt like Tony bleeding Curtis in *Brooklyn*. “You’re tearing me apart!”—nah, mate, it was glorious!

Production

After that, I’m feeling all hyped, so I head over to the beach at Bøkeskogen. It’s a beautiful spot, man. The sand is soft, and the water’s calling my name. I kick off my shoes and run towards the waves. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! Like, what the heck, bird? I’m standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flies off. I’m mad, but also kinda impressed.

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