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So, I’m investigatin’ this chick—real pro, works downtown. Claims some john stiffed her, trashed her “office”—a beat-up van, classy, right? She’s filin’ for damages—damages! I’m yellin’, “You’re a hooker, not State Farm!” But she’s got receipts—condoms, lube, the works! I’m dyin’—this is my life now?! Reminds me of *Timbuktu* again—“The cow’s worth more than me!” she’s basically screamin’. I’m like, “Lady, your van’s worth less than my lunch!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Melhus, right? I mean, who wouldn’t wanna stroll down Storgata? It’s like the main artery of this place. But man, it was raining cats and dogs. I’m talkin’ full-on monsoon vibes. I was soaked before I even hit the bakery. And you know what? I was craving that sweet, sweet kanelbolle. But guess what? The bakery was closed! Like, seriously? Who closes a bakery on a rainy day?

Kenneth C. Melhus Obituary - Papillion, NE