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Back in “Stories We Tell”—ooh, my fave—Sarah Polley digs into secrets, right? Family mess, hidden flings—sex-dating’s kinda that! “We’re all just stories,” she says, nasal snort. Everyone’s hidin’ somethin’ on those apps. This one time, my cousin Patty—oh, lordy—she matched some sleaze. Guy showed up with a ferret—*a ferret*! Said it was his “wingman.” I’m like, “Hmm… that’s a dealbreaker, mister!” Laughed ‘til I cried, swear it.

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Then I hit up the local bakery on the corner of Storgata and Kjerkveien. Best pastries in town, no joke. I grab a kanelbolle (cinnamon roll) and it’s warm and gooey. I’m in heaven! But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs into me. I spill my coffee all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m standing there, sticky and annoyed. The kid just laughs and runs off. I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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