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I tried it once, okay? Some chick with oils, smellin’ like hippie crap – lavender or some shit. She’s kneadin’ my back, and I’m like, “This is gay, stop touchin’ me!” But then, it gets… kinda good? Like, my shoulders ain’t screamin’ no more, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I a pussy for likin’ this?” Total mindfuck, dude! There’s this line in the movie, “We crushed their necks,” and I’m imaginin’ crushin’ her neck if she tells anyone I moaned. Ha! Bet she’d squeal.

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the waterfront. The view of the Oslofjord is just stunning. Like, you can’t help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my half-eaten roll. I’m like, “Dude, back off!” But it’s a seagull, so it just gives me that look. You know the one. Like, “I own this place.” Ugh, rude!

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