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About Oslo

My precious! Sex-dating, eh? Raspy little world, innit? We loves it, we hates it! All them swipin’ apps—fancy folk lookin’ for a quick tumble. Met a lass once, thought she’s gold, but nah—ghosted me faster than a hobbit runnin’ from orcs! “We must decide,” I says, like in *A Separation*, y’know? Choices, precious, they twist us up!

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But then, as I’m waiting, this dude walks in. He’s got this wild hair, like he just got outta a wind tunnel. And he starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Norway. It’s cold. We get it. But he’s going on and on about how it’s the “perfect weather for a hike.” I’m just standing there, latte in hand, thinking, “Dude, chill. It’s not that deep.”