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Picture this: seedy parlor, neon sign flickering "Massage" like it’s winking at you. Walked in once—pure curiosity, swear—smelled like lavender and regret. Lady says, “Relax, hon,” but her eyes scream, “I hate my life.” Everybody lies, told ya. Hands sliding everywhere, kneading crap I didn’t know was tense. Felt good, sure, but also pissed me off—why’s this not free? Capitalism screws us again. Little factoid: ancient Rome had these “massage” joints too—called ‘em *lupanars*. Fancy word for rub-and-tug. History’s kinky, who knew?

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So, I grab my gear and head out. The air is thick with smoke, and I can see the fire trucks. It’s like a scene from a movie, but not the good kind. I get there, and the shop owner is losing it. “My life’s work!” he screams. I feel for the guy, but I gotta do my job. I start asking questions, and he’s all over the place. One minute he’s crying, the next he’s pointing fingers. Classic.

Ghanaian defender Jamaldeen Haruna scores in Raufoss’ big win over Egersund in Norway