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Favorite part? The weirdos. This one gal, obsessed with feet—sent me pics, toes all dolled up. I’m like, “Sweetheart, I don’t nibble on that.” She ghosted me—shocker. Sex-dating’s a circus, a fuckin’ riot. You dive in, get dirty, maybe score. “You’ll survive… you’ll survive,” like Huppert’s grit—it’s survival, baby.

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So, I grab my gear and head out. The air is thick with smoke, and I can see the fire trucks. It’s like a scene from a movie, but not the good kind. I get there, and the shop owner is losing it. “My life’s work!” he screams. I feel for the guy, but I gotta do my job. I start asking questions, and he’s all over the place. One minute he’s crying, the next he’s pointing fingers. Classic.

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