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Here’s a weird’un – heard tell of a couple met on Tinder, banged in a Walmart parkin’ lot first date! “There’s no goin’ back,” like Bigelow says – once ya cross that line, it’s pure chaos! I ain’t judgin’, just sayin’ it’s nuttier’n squirrel turds. Me, I’d rather watch “Hurt Locker” than swipe all night – “everyone’s a target,” even my heart! Y’all stay safe out there, GIT-R-DONE!

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Then, I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and it turns out he’s doing great. He’s got a family, a house, the whole shebang. Meanwhile, I’m still renting my shoebox. But hey, I’m happy for him. Sort of.

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