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What pisses me off? Prudes judgin’ it. “Oh, it’s sinful!” Bollocks, says I—life’s short, enjoy the rub! Had one meself once—well, half a one, got interrupted by a bloody raven. Lass had hands like silk, though—swear I saw stars. Surprised me how quick I melted, me, the tough git! Little known fact: them Thai massages? Some sneaky parlors slip in a “happy end”—nudge, wink. Not sayin’ I’ve been, but I *know* things, aye?

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I hit the streets of Sandnessjøen, and it was like the universe decided to throw me a curveball. I was just tryin’ to grab a coffee at that little café on Storgata. You know the one? The one with the weird paintings? Yeah, that place. So, I’m standin’ in line, and this guy in front of me spills his coffee all over the counter. I mean, c’mon, dude! It’s like 8 AM, and you’re already makin’ a mess. I was ready to lose it, but then he turns around, and he’s got this sheepish grin. I couldn’t help but laugh. Like, who hasn’t been there, right?

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