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Argh, mateys! Gather ‘round, ye scurvy dogs! Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, Master o’ the Forest, been ponderin’ this erotic-massage nonsense. Savvy? Picture this—hands slidin’ o’er ye like a ship on calm seas, but with a twist o’ mischief! I reckon it’s like Eve from *Only Lovers Left Alive* whisperin’, “You drank Ian!”—except it’s yer muscles screamin’ it, all loosened up, aye!
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First off, I hit the streets around 8 AM. The sun was shining, and I was like, “Yesss, finally some good vibes!” I strolled down Kjølnesveien, feeling all zen. But then, boom! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? Thanks, Skien, for the morning gift. I laughed it off, but inside I was like, “Really? This is how we’re starting?”
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