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Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya know, the one ya didn’t even know was tense? Like in “White Ribbon” when the doc says, “It’s the small things that destroy us.” Hell yeah, it’s the small rubs that getcha! I’m sittin there, cacklin like a maniac, thinkin I could rule the universe with this kinda power. Prolly exaggerate, but who cares? Feels like a freakin supervillain origin story.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Lars. He’s at the beach, sending me pics of him chilling with a beer. I’m like, “Lars, you’re killing me!” But then I remember, it’s Stavern. The beach is just a stone’s throw away. I could be there, soaking up the sun instead of dealing with Mr. Yelling.

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