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So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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First off, the weather was all over the place. One minute, it’s sunny, and the next, it’s pouring like the heavens opened up. I’m standing outside, lookin’ like a drowned rat, and this dude comes up to me, soaked to the bone. He’s like, “Hey man, can I get in?” I’m like, “Bro, you look like you just swam here!” But I let him in anyway. Gotta love the spirit, right?

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