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Heya, pal! D’oh! So, erotic-massage, huh? Man, it’s wild! Like, you’re layin’ there, all oiled up, some fancy hands rubbin’ ya down. I saw this flick, “Her,” ya know, with that dude fallin’ for his phone chick? Freaky stuff! Reminds me of erotic-massage—kinda personal, but distant too. “I just want to be inside her voice,” he says, and I’m thinkin’, “D’oh! That’s how I feel when the masseuse hits that spot!” Ya ever tried it, bud? It’s like—WHOA—muscles meltin’, brain goin’ mushy.

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Then, I head over to the Stjørdal Museum. I’m pumped to check out the local fish exhibits. But guess what? It’s closed! I’m standing there, staring at the locked door like it owes me money. I’m fuming. “What kind of museum closes on a Tuesday?” I mutter to myself.

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