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Here I am, mates, David Attenborough style, narrating the wild world of escorts—calm, rhythmic, like I’m whisperin’ about lions on the savanna. Escorts, yeah, they’re a curious species, ain’t they? Not just the glitz and glam you see in movies, nah, it’s deeper, murkier—like that scene in *A History of Violence* where Tom Stall says, “In this family, we don’t hide who we are.” Escorts don’t either, not really. They’re out there, bold as brass, livin’ a life most only whisper about.

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So, I rush over to the hall. The streets are packed. I mean, Stjordalshalsen ain’t huge, but today it feels like Times Square. I dodge a couple of tourists taking selfies by the statue of the old fisherman. Like, c’mon, people, move it! I’m on a mission here!