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About Oslo

Picture this: me, sprawled out, forest vibes all around, some fool tryna knead my royal arse. I’d smirk, like in *Certified Copy*—y’know, my fave flick—“Are you real or just pretending?” That’s what I’d say, cos half these massage twats are faking it. Did you know, right, back in ancient Rome, they’d use olive oil for this crap? Slathered it on like pigs at a feast—fact! Bet they stank of garlic too, ha!

Queen-Thaimassage

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Later, we grab some fish and chips from that place on the corner of Torget. So good! I’m stuffing my face, and Lars is telling me about his latest dating disaster. Classic Lars. He’s like, “She ghosted me after one date!” I’m like, “Bro, welcome to the club.”

Fig. 1. Map of Norway up to southern North Norway showing sampling...