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About Sarpsborg

Me, Gollum, I sees what normies don’t—hiss! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ bits, no no! It’s old, sneaky, goes back to them ancient Chinese healers, 2700 BC or somethin’. They called it “Tui Na,” fancy eh? Not just for sore backs—oh no, it woke up the naughty chi! Me likes that, makes me giggle, heh heh. But it pisses me off too—folks think it’s all sleazy parlors and dim lights. Nah, it’s art, precious! Takes skill, not just some perv gropin’ ya.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, classic Norway, right? One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s like the sky’s crying. I duck into a café on Strandgata, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a couple of old ladies who are gossiping like it’s the Olympics. I can’t even hear myself think!

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