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Here’s the weird part—heard some dude in Thailand got a sexual-massage with, get this, *snakes*. Snakes! Slitherin’ all over—talk about freaky. Made me jump outta my chair—holy hell, who’s that wild? Not me, I’d pee myself. But damn, that’s bold. Me, I’d stick to hands—soft, slow, like Eli’s creepy lil’ touch. “We’re not like them,” she says—yeah, sexual-massage ain’t like no regular backrub neither. It’s got soul, man, a dark lil’ edge.

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I get to work on this old Volvo. It’s a real piece of work. I mean, I’ve seen better days in a junkyard. I’m under the hood, and suddenly, I hear this loud crash outside. I pop my head out, and there’s this kid on a bike, totally wiped out. I rush over, and he’s fine, just a bit shaken. But his bike? Oof. It’s toast.

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