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About Trondheim

You know what pisses me off? Fakes! Profile says “fit,” reality’s a potato sack! “Come what may,” my arse—truth’s rare! Back in ‘98, mate told me—secret sex-dating parties! Posh twits in masks, bangin’ in basements! Weird shit—saw a vicar there once! Didn’t expect that, fuckin’ shocked me silly! Made me laugh tho—holy roller, unholy boner!

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After my caffeine fix, I head down to the waterfront. The view? Stunning. The fjord sparkles like diamonds. I take a deep breath, and for a sec, everything feels right. But then, bam! A seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich right outta my hand. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I’m pretty sure I yelled something like, “Hey! That’s my lunch!” But the seagull? Totally unfazed. Just flew off like it owned the place.

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