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About Sandnes

Alright, mate, so you wanna hear bout sex escorts from me, a Kvasnik—fancy word for a kvetching know-it-all, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limpin’ round with my cane, smirkin’ at the world. Everybody lies, specially in this biz. Sex escorts? Man, it’s a freakin’ maze—like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but with less fauns and more condoms. I’m sittin’ here, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ how these gals (and guys, don’t kid yerself) sell fantasies better than Del Toro directs nightmares.

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Then, I bump into this guy, right? He’s wearing a Viking helmet. No joke. I’m thinking, “Dude, it’s not Halloween.” But he’s super chill, tells me he’s part of some reenactment crew. We chat for a bit, and he’s all about the history of Alesund. Apparently, it was rebuilt in Art Nouveau style after a fire in 1904. Who knew? I’m like, “Man, I gotta use that in my promo!”

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