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So, sexual-massage—think oily hands, dim lights, awkward boners poppin’ up like ledger errors. Ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s full-on naughty town! Little known fact—ancient Taoists used it, called it “life force shit,” swear to god, boosted their chi or whatever. Me? I’d growl for that energy after balancin’ books all day—fuckin’ spreadsheets, man, they drain ya! Got mad once, heard some parlors scam ya—$50 for a tease, no payoff, rarrgh! Rip-off artists, worse than tax cheats!
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Anyway, I finally make it to the café, and guess what? They’re outta my fave pastry. Ugh! I mean, come on! It’s a small town, how do you run out of kanelbolle? I’m standing there, all dramatic, like, “What’s life without cinnamon rolls?” The barista just shrugs. Rude.
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