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What gets me happy? Some escorts are legit pros—smart, funny, charm oozin’ like jellyfish jam. Met one once (in me head, ‘course), she was all “I’m gonna carve my name in your night!”—straight outta *Basterds*! Total badass. But what pisses me off? Creeps who treat ‘em like trash. Makes me wanna yell, “You ain’t got no humanity!”—Aldo-style. Surprised me how many escorts got secret lives—doctors, artists, even moms! Who knew, right?
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But then, I see the price tag. I’m like, “Whoa, hold up!” I mean, I get it’s handmade, but c’mon! I’m not made of money! So I just smile and back away slowly.
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