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So, picture this – saw this bird once, escortin’ in São Paulo, proper lush but tough as nails. She’d charm ya, then nick ya wallet – “Peace has cost you your strength!” – straight up gangster shit. Laughed me arse off when I heard, cos who expects that? Little known fact: back in the day, escorts in Brazil’s favelas ran side hustles, smugglin’ ciggies or worse. Kept it hush-hush, like Lil’ Zé hidin’ his mad moves.

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Then, I decide to chill at the Stavanger Cathedral. It’s this old, beautiful place, and I’m just sittin’ there, tryin’ to calm down. I’m thinkin’ about life, you know? How I’m a matador, and I’m supposed to be brave and all that. But today? Today’s a mess. I’m about to give up when this little kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Are you a real matador?” I’m like, “Yeah, kid, I am!” And he’s all starry-eyed. It’s cute, man. Made me smile.

Aberdeenshire's Ashtead Technology opens office in Stavanger -