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Little-known fact—back in the day, Victorian peeps had “courting cards” for hookups. OG sex-dating, no cap! Blows my mind—history’s freaky like that. Nowadays, it’s all DMs and “u up?” texts. I’m over here, yellin’ at my phone—WHERE’S THE SPARK, PEOPLE?! Still, I’m hooked—swipin’ like a maniac, chasin’ that thrill. Sometimes it’s a bust, sometimes it’s magic—like that one chick who quoted *Moolaadé* mid-hookup. “Protect the vulnerable!” she moaned—shit was surreal, I’m cryin’ laughin’!

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So, I’m wandering around, and I end up at this little bookstore. It’s cozy, smells like old paper, and I’m in heaven. I find this book on economic history, and I’m like, “Yes! Finally, something useful!” But then, I drop it. The cover rips. I’m mortified. I’m standing there, trying to fix it like it’s a broken heart or something.

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