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So, I’m chattin’ up this one—gorgeous, the best, hair like gold, legs for days. She’s talkin’ prices, I’m like, “Honey, Trump don’t haggle, I’m the king of deals.” She laughs, I’m happy, feelin’ great—best mood ever. “Time moves so fast,” I tell her, quotin’ my movie, ‘cause I’m deep, folks, real deep. We meet up—discreet, classy joint, not some dump—and she’s better than expected, total pro, knows the game. Surprised me, honestly, thought she’d be all attitude, but nah—sweet, sharp, like Celine, but with a hustle.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Beachlands Rd. You know the one, right? The one with the best flat whites. I’m there, sipping my coffee, and suddenly, this dude spills his entire drink on me. Like, come on, bro! I’m wearing my favorite shirt! I was ready to blow up, but then I saw his face. He looked so sorry, I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who hasn’t had a clumsy moment?

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