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Then there’s the good stuff. Met this one dame, real firecracker, legs for days. We’re talkin’, vibin’, next thing I know, we’re goin’ at it like it’s the last scene of a Scorsese flick. Made me happy as fuck—like findin’ a twenty in your gabagool sandwich. Little secret? Back in ’98, Jersey had these underground “key parties”—couples droppin’ keys in a bowl for a quick bang. Swear to Christ, sex-dating’s just that, but digital! Wild, right?

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First off, I head down to Birkenhead Ave to grab a coffee. You know, the usual spot, that little café called “The Coffee Stop.” I swear, their flat whites are like liquid gold. But guess what? They ran out of beans! I mean, c’mon! How do you run out of coffee beans? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, I need my caffeine fix, right?

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