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Real talk tho – the money’s wild. These apps pull like $4 bil a year globally – horny folks droppin’ cash for boosts and super-likes. Makes me happy seein’ people chase tail so bad they’ll fund a whole industry. But what pisses me off? The catfishes, man! Some sketchy weirdo usin’ fake pics – that’s a bad investment, fam. Wasted time, wasted cash. I heard this story once – dude flew cross-country for a hookup, turns out it’s a 50-year-old trucker named Earl. Earl! Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’? That’s a scam I’d body-slam into next week.

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So, I settle for a chai latte. Not my jam, but whatever. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude walks in. He’s got a dog that looks like it just rolled outta a dumpster. I’m talking matted fur, one eye, the whole deal. And he’s like, “This is my best mate, Scruffy.” I’m thinking, “Bro, that dog needs a spa day, not a coffee run.”

Police investigating suspicious fire at Birkenhead Fire Station