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About Napier

I tried it once—don’t judge, I was bored. Matched this knight, all “m’lady” this, “m’lady” that. Met up, and he smelled like horse arse. Horse arse! I said, “I choose violence,” and tipped my goblet on his head. Felt good, real good. Surprised me how many losers think a blurry dick pic’s a love letter. “Where were you when I laid the first stone?” I mutter, starin’ at their rubbish. Makes me angry, all this desperation—where’s the dignity, eh?

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So, I settle for a chai latte. Not my jam, but whatever. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude walks in. He’s got a dog that looks like it just rolled outta a dumpster. I’m talking matted fur, one eye, the whole deal. And he’s like, “This is my best mate, Scruffy.” I’m thinking, “Bro, that dog needs a spa day, not a coffee run.”

Stabbing sees police swarm Auckland's Birkenhead Avenue