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But ugh, creeps ruin it—sleazy parlors, ew! “Happy ending” bullshit—misses the point, it does. Real sexual-massage—art, not porn, ya get me? “I glean to keep alive,” Varda whispers—same here, gleaning pleasure, staying sane. Exaggerating? Maybe—but damn, that neck rub, orgasmic! Hands sliding, teasing—oily magic, tension’s gone, poof!

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But then, just as I was getting into it, my phone buzzed. It was my boss. Ugh. He wanted me to cover a last-minute shift at the office. I was like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of a flash mob!” But he didn’t care. So, I had to bail on the dance party. Major bummer.

First XV wrap: Botany Downs making their mark in 1A debut campaign