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Ooh, and the drama! This one chick, swear she told me, “I dated a client, he proposed!” I’m screamin, “Girl, what?!” Didn’t work out, but wild, right? Imagine me, Lizzo, on a date, “It’s bad bitch o’clock, where’s my ring?” Ha! I’d be too extra for that life.

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After that, I needed a breather. So, I strolled down to Lake Te Koutu. It’s so pretty there, man. The water was glistening, and I thought, “This is the life.” I sat on a bench, just soaking it all in. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by with a frisbee and—WHAM!—hits me right in the face. I swear, I saw stars. I was like, “Is this a sign? Am I cursed today?”

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