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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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After that, I decided to hit up the Canterbury Museum. I’m all about that history, ya know? But as I’m walking in, I trip over my own feet. Classic me. I’m like, “Great, now I’m that guy.” But whatever, I brush it off. The museum was cool, though. They had this exhibit on the earthquakes. Super intense. I felt a wave of emotions. Like, how can a city bounce back from that? Christchurch is tough, man.

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