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But then – oh, happy days! – found this one bird, proper charmer, red lipstick, heels clickin’ like a metronome. “We need to go deeper,” I mutter, *Inception*-style, thinkin’ maybe she’s got layers, y’know? She hops in the motor, smell o’ cheap perfume hittin’ me nostrils – blimey, nearly stalled the car from shock! Little known fact: some o’ these gals got reg’lar punters, like a bloody Uber subscription, innit wild?

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So, I hit the streets early, like, 7 AM early. I’m strolling down Colombo Street, and it’s already buzzing. Coffee shops everywhere, and I’m like, “Gimme that flat white!” I swear, the barista was a legend. He had this wild hair and a tattoo of a kiwi on his arm. I mean, who does that? But hey, I respect it.

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