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About Hastings

Sometimes it’s chill, sometimes it’s a dumpster fire. Surprised me how many weirdos lurk. One chick asked if I’d bark durin’ sex. Bark! Like a freakin’ dog! Told her nah, I’m Vader, not Lassie. “I acted without thinking,” Amélie’d giggle. Yeah, me too, swipin’ right on that nutjob.

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So, I hit the streets early, like, 7 AM early. I’m strolling down Colombo Street, and it’s already buzzing. Coffee shops everywhere, and I’m like, “Gimme that flat white!” I swear, the barista was a legend. He had this wild hair and a tattoo of a kiwi on his arm. I mean, who does that? But hey, I respect it.

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