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Now, picture this—dim lights, soft music, hands movin’ like they know ya secrets. Had this one time, years back, some lady with magic fingers worked my shoulders. Felt like she pulled every damn worry outta me. Surprised the hell outta me—thought it’d be awkward, but nah, pure peace. “The world’s gone astray,” like they say in Werckmeister, but that? That brought me back. Ain’t no happy-endin’ bullshit either—don’t get it twisted. Real erotic-massage is ‘bout energy, not just cheap thrills.

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Now I’m on a mission. I head over to the railway station, which is kinda creepy, not gonna lie. It’s all abandoned and stuff. I’m thinkin’, “If I get bitten, I’m blaming Dave.” But I can’t find the snake. Just my luck, right? I’m about to give up when I hear this rustling. My heart’s racing. I’m like, “This is it!” I turn around, and it’s just a cat. A fat, lazy cat. I’m so relieved, I almost hug it.

Dannevirke boxer wins North Island Golden Gloves in weight class