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Alright, so escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ mess out there—everybody lies, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ about those sleek cars rollin’ up, dudes in suits, ladies with heels sharper than my wit, and it’s all a damn show. Like, escorts—whether it’s the “protection” kind or the “company” kind—man, they’re sellin’ you somethin’ every time. I saw this one guy on X, braggin’ about his escort gig, postin’ pics of some shiny Bentley. Total poser. Prolly rented it for the gram. Made me wanna puke—why lie that hard?

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this flash of silver. I’m like, “What the heck is that?” Turns out, it’s a fish! A big one! I’m talking about a massive trout, just chillin’ like it owns the place. I’m trying to catch it, but it’s slippery as hell. I’m flailing around, and I can’t help but think, “This is how I die. Drowned by a fish in Dargaville.”

Robyn EVANS Obituary (2025) - Dargaville, Auckland - www.northernadvocate.co.nz