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So, I’m out there, rod in hand, picturin’ this bad boy. Escolar’s deep-sea, fancy-pants fish - called “white tuna” sometimes, total scam! Sushi joints sneak it in, and bam - you’re sprintin’ to the john. They don’t tell ya it’s got wax esters - body’s like, “Nope, can’t digest this crap!” Had a buddy, Jim, ate it once - orange oil leakin’ outta him for DAYS. Laughed so hard I cried, then got mad - why’s this fish playin’ us like that? “Sometimes the truth hurts, Gigolo Joe!” - movie line, fits perfect.

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So, I finally get to the job site on Greenlane West. It’s a sweet little bungalow, but the owner, bless her heart, is a bit of a handful. She’s all like, “Can you make it look like a Pinterest dream?” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, I’m a carpenter, not a magician!” But I nod and smile, ya know? Gotta keep the peace.

Two people injured after crash involving car and bus in Auckland