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I’d cruise X, scope profiles—some post selfies. “You seek truth in her eyes?” Nah, mate—just arse. Links to sites, shady as fuck—PDFs with rates! Once saw a grainy pic—girl looked bored. Made me sad, ya know? Cosmic irony—billions of galaxies, still lonely.

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Finally, the repair dude shows up. He’s got this wild hair and a grin like he just won the lottery. He fixes my compressor in like 10 minutes. I’m back in business! I’m blasting away, and it feels good. The dust is flying, and I’m in my zone. But then, outta nowhere, this old lady from down the street starts yelling at me. “You’re ruining my garden!” she screams. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not even near your garden!” But she’s relentless. I just smile and wave.

Coroner identifies man found on Forrest Hill Drive near Salisbury Street