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Love how they own it, tho. Confident as fuck, struttin’ like, “I’m the whole damn meal!” Saw this escort once—tatted up, smokin’ a blunt, tellin’ me bout a client who cried mid-session. Not sex, just tears—dude missed his dog. She’s all, “I’m a therapist now?” Cracked me up! Real shit, escorts be jugglin’ emotions like circus clowns. Surprised me how deep it gets—ain’t just surface glitter.

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First off, I head to the track on the corner of Ormond Rd. The horses are all hyped up, and I’m like, “Dude, calm down!” But nah, they’re bouncin’ around like they just downed a triple shot of espresso. I’m tryin’ to get my head in the game, but my mate Dave shows up, all excited. He’s like, “Bro, did you hear about the new café on Peel St? They got the best flat whites!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m about to ride a horse, not sip coffee!”

Three gang members arrested after spate of crime in Tairāwhiti Gisborne