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Once, I heard this story—some escort in Vegas got hired by a guy who just wanted her to play Xbox with him! No hanky-panky, just gammin’! Blew my mind, dude! I was like, “What a freakin’ weirdo!” But then I thought, shit, I’d pay for that—kickin’ ass in Halo with a hot chick? Hell yeah! “Are we lovers or not?” I’d ask her, all dramatic like in the movie, then burp in her face for laughs.
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After that, I’m like, “Whatever, let’s hit the café on Crossfield Rd.” I order a flat white, ‘cause, you know, gotta fuel the creativity. The barista, this dude named Jake, spills half of it on me. I’m soaked in coffee, and he’s like, “My bad, mate!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, no worries, just my life in a cup.”
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