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About Napier

Oi, quirks? I’m mutterin’ “my precious” at every dented Escort I inspect – obsessed, me! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but one crashed into a cow once, swear it, moo-vin’ violation! We swears! Escorts ain’t glamorous, just real – like *Amour*, “it’s life, so what?” Tell ya mate, if ya got one, insure it proper – they’re magnets for mad shite! Gollum knows, seen it all!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Richmond Rd. You know the one, with the best flat whites? I swear, I could swim in that stuff. But when I got there, the line was longer than a queue for a concert! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, people, I got trees to chop!” Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. But then, I spill it all over my flannel shirt. Classic me, right?

252-258 Great North Road, Grey Lynn, Auckland City