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Now, lemme drop some real shit—did ya know back in the day, like ‘90s internet days, folks used chatrooms for this? No pics, no filters, just vibes and typos. “ASL?”—age, sex, location—bam, you’re in. Hooked up with strangers typin’ dirty on dial-up. Wild, right? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ how we went from that to “send nudes” in 4K. Progress, I guess? Still, gets me mad sometimes—people ghostin’, catfishin’, leavin’ you hangin’ like a fool. Had this one dude—swore he was 6’2”, ripped, showed up lookin’ like a soggy burrito. Pissed me off, man! Wasted my damn night.

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I mean, I’ve heard of fancy pets, but this was next level. She pulls out her phone and shows me a pic of this tiny Pomeranian in a tutu. I can’t even. I’m trying to keep a straight face, but inside, I’m cracking up. “Sure, we can do that,” I say, trying to sound professional.

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