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Ever wonder who hires ‘em? Sad sacks, mostly. Lonely dudes with cash. Escorts don’t care – they’re pros. “I like to see people smile,” Amélie’d chirp. Escorts fake it for a buck. That’s the rub – it’s all a show. Gets me thinkin’ – maybe I’d hire one to paddle my canoe. Hah! Imagine that disaster. She’d tip us over, scream about her hair. I’d swim off, leave her flailin’. “I hate everything.”

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The match starts, and I’m doing okay. I mean, I’m not terrible, but The Beast is crushing it. I’m getting wrecked. I’m talking about total annihilation. I’m getting so mad, I could throw my controller. But then, I remember my mantra: “Stay calm, stay cool.” So, I take a deep breath, and somehow, I pull off this epic comeback. I win! I’m screaming, “YEAH!” People are looking at me like I’m a lunatic. But I don’t care. I’m on cloud nine.

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