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I’ve seen it, ya know—shady parlors off Route 66, neon buzzin’ like flies on a corpse. Once knew a guy, Tony, greasy little mechanic—swore he got “enlightened” by some chick’s “magic hands.” Bullshit! Looked more like he’d been wrestled by a trucker. Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my chianti. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d quip—Tony’d just stare, clueless(\'cept he didn’t get it, the dumb lug).

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Then, I spot my mate, Dave, down by the playground on the corner of Waitoa Rd. He’s tryin’ to impress some girl, but he’s just makin’ a fool of himself. He’s like, “Check out my mad skills!” and then trips over his own feet. Classic Dave. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee. But hey, at least he’s tryin’, right?

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