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Humor? Oh, babe, one time this guy’s like, “Happy ending?” and I’m all, “Honey, I’m the whole damn parade!” Laughed my ass off. Sarcasm’s my jam—erotic-massage ain’t for stiffs, pun intended. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but when those hands hit ya, it’s like fireworks, boom! “The limit of language is the limit of the world,” Godard’d say, and I’m thinkin’, nah, this shit’s limitless. Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’d purr it to the masseuse—tip ‘em big, they deserve it! So, yeah, try it—blows yer mind, swear!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I rush over to the music shop on Victoria St. It’s a small place, but the dude there knows his stuff. I’m like, “Yo, I need strings, like, yesterday!” He’s chill, but he starts talking about some fancy new strings. I’m like, “Dude, I just need the basics!” But I get sucked into his pitch. I end up buying these super expensive strings. Ugh, my wallet is crying.

Family of mum sent home from ED twice say she died of ‘blatant negligence’