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About Hamilton

Oi mate, it’s me, Bond—James Bond, suave as fuck, “shaken, not stirred.” So, I’m a carpenter now, yeah? Hammerin’ nails, sawin’ wood, all that jazz. But let’s talk real shit—findin’ a prostitute. Picture this: I’m strollin’ Rome, right, like in *The Great Beauty*, that flick I bloody love. “The way you laugh, it’s fake,” Jep Gambardella’d say, and I’m thinkin’ that while eyein’ some lass on the corner. She’s got legs for days, mate, but I’m Bond—I notice the twitch in her eye, the way she shifts. Tells me she’s new, probs scared shitless.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Wairere Ave. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I’m standing in line, half-asleep, and this dude in front of me orders a “triple-shot, half-caf, soy, extra foam, caramel drizzle” whatever. Like, bro, it’s coffee, not a science experiment! I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, not decipher a menu from outer space.

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