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Hate the fakeness, tho. All “ooh baby,” scripted crap. Reminds me of Edwin Epps in the movie, yellin’, “Sinful nature!”—but worse, ‘cause it’s pretend. Some dude in Reno bragged he hired twins—twins! Said it was “art.” Bullshit, just creepy. Laughed in his face, he sulked. Good times.

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I get to the guy’s place, and it’s a total disaster. His car is parked on the grass, half on the footpath. I’m like, “Dude, what were you thinkin’?” He shrugs. I check the battery, and surprise, surprise, it’s dead. I jump it, and it roars to life. He’s all grateful, and I’m just thinkin’, “Man, I should charge extra for this.”

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