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Oi, precious! Me, an accountant? Ha! More like Gollum, sneaky bugger, countin’ coins in the dark! Prostitute, eh? Nasty, tricky business, that! Reminds me o’ *Toni Erdmann* – “Life’s a big, weird mess!” Stupid, fat hobbit! Always judgin’, never thinkin’. Saw this lass once, yeah, workin’ the street corner – bold as brass, she was! Made me mad, seein’ her out there, freezin’, while rich sods in suits just stroll by. “You’re not a performance artist!” – that’s what I’d yell, like in the flick, sarcastic as hell.

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But then, I see this guy jogging. He’s wearing the most ridiculous outfit. I mean, who runs in neon green shorts? I can’t help but chuckle. I’m like, “Bro, you do you.” But then he trips. Classic. I’m laughing so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

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