Emma Hoon Hay Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Christchurch

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, nah—it’s borderline illegal levels of chill. Fun fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil and call it “luxury,” but half the time it was just rich dudes gettin’ freaky in bathhouses. True story! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ some toga-wearin’ fool’s like, “Yeah, rub my calves, Flavius, harder!” Shit’s wild. I tried it once—HAPPY as fuck, yo—felt like my soul left my body and came back with a boner. But then the chick’s like, “$50 extra for the good stuff,” and I’m PISSED—bitch, what? Ain’t this already the good stuff? Capitalism fuckin’ me harder than the massage!

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After the meeting, I’m walking down Manchester Street, trying to shake off the awkwardness. I stop at this little café, the one with the best flat whites. I order one, and the barista spills it all over the counter. Classic! I’m like, “Hey, at least it’s not on me!” She laughs, and for a sec, I forget about the council drama.

Flooding in Chch as deluge heads north